In a historic moment, President Trump recognized Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, winning praise from Jews and making haters who call him a "Nazi" eat their words once again. "There's nothing to it", Raj Shah, White House spokesman told NBC News and other reporters.
Trump closed his address with a familiar phrase, "and God bless the United States".
"I say forget the Mueller investigation, bring on the molar investigation".
Noah wasted no time in critiquing the president on the gaffe, noting that "even more disturbing" than the Middle East conflict was watching "the conflict between Donald Trump's teeth and his tongue".
Noah seized on the historic moment to make the pettiest of observations: That a 71-year-old man might wear dentures.
German SPD leader seeks end to Schaeuble-style austerity
Nonetheless, the SPD is holding a three-day congress this week and will ask members' permission to start coalition talks with the Conservatives.
"Because he's vain as hell", Noah said. But the pronunciation of those words appeared to slur.
Noah speculated Trump was wearing dentures.
"It does appear that Donald Trump received a smile makeover with porcelain restorations", the center said in response to a letter asking how Trump achieved his bright smile. "His dentures started falling out and he wouldn't be able to finish a sentence".
"He managed to get every word in the speech right, except the last one", Colbert said before joking about what a speech snafu might sound like in the future.
"I am really looking forward to this January 30". It turns out that yes, Trump's denture issue was as bad as it seemed.
"Report whatever you would like to report", Shah responded.